TE AMARÍA IMPERFECTO

Si tuviera otra oportunidad
Le suplicaria a Dios
Que te dejara vivir más

Si tuviera otra oportunidad
Le pediría a mi Creador
Que te regresará a mi.

Si tuviera otra oportunidad
Te amaría mucho más
Te abrazaría y besaría más.

Si tuviera otra oportunidad
Te cuidaría más
Te disfrutaría mucho más.

Si tuviera otra oportunidad
Te volvería a amar,
Y te amaría mucho más.

Si tuviera otra oportunidad
Volveríamos a empezar
Y no te reprocharía jamás.

Si tuviera otra oportunidad
Te amaría imperfecto,
Y lo demostraría mucho más.

Si tuviera otra oportunidad
Te llamaría mi héroe
Y no te soltaría jamas!

Por siempre en mi corazón, Padre

Rosy Rentería V

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BA9665EA-5362-416B-BA08-D72569C97DF8FFB34F1B-32FC-4663-A8FC-40596DEF8C3DHay veces que te preguntas en que fallo Dios, porque no te dio lo que tu deseabas,, porque te lleva por caminos sigzagueantes y llenos de espinas, y te preguntas y le preguntas, “porque Señor?”  Porque es tan dificil ser feliz, porque no encuentras comprension en el ser amado, porque esa montaña es tan dificil de escalar? y El Señor  Jesucristo te contesta, “YO NO FALLÉ , FALLASTE TU CUANDO NO ESCUCHASTE MI VOZ, FALLASTE TU CUANDO DECIDISTE HACER TU PROPIA VOLUNTAD, FALLASTE TU CUANDO HICISTES TU PROPIA ELECCION SIN CONSULTARME A MI, FALLASTE CUANDO NO ESCOGISTES EL CAMINO RECTO Y EN CAMBIO CORRISTE AL CAMINO LLENO DE ABROJOS Y DE ESPINAS, FALLASTE TU CUANDO HABLE Y NO SUPISTE ESCUCHAR, FALLASTE TU CUANDO DECIDISTES ESCALAR LA MONTAÑA  SIN MI, PERO SI DECIDES HACER MI VOLUNTAD YO TOMARE CONTROL Y HARE LO MEJOR EN TI Y PARA TI, SOLO DEJAME HACERLO YO, Y TU ESPERA CONFIADO EN MI.”
Atentamente, El Señor Jesus tu Dios.
ROSA M VAZQUEZ ( Rosy Renteria)

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Sabrás que el olvido llego, cuando su recuerdo ya no duela, sabrás que el perdón llego cuando tan solo de pensar en el ya no llore tu corazón, sabrás que nunca lo podrás olvidar pero esperas ese día cuando su recuerdo ya no dolerá, le pides a Dios que te perdone, y lo quisieras tener a El para pedirle perdón, desafortunadamente el ya no está para darte su perdón Dios ya te lo dio, pero ahora como te perdonas a ti misma? A quien le llevaras la serenata que por tontos prejuicios nunca le llevaste, como recuperas el tiempo que no le diste por qué vivías llena de cadenas y ataduras y esclava del opresor….. y te dices a ti misma no quiero que el olvido llegue, no quiero que su memoria se borre, pero el dolor es inmenso, tan inmenso como la falta de perdón y es que es más difícil que perdones a alguien, que perdonarte a ti misma, entonces quisieras olvidar…. es tanto el dolor, que parece que nunca acabará.

Rosy Rentería V

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Life Frágil and Fleeting

The frágil and fleeting life

Everything happened so suddenly, it was a morning, a Friday, usually Fridays are the closing of a week of work and the beginning of a weekend (which for everyone is fun, days to get together with the family, to go for a walk, rest, or just do what you like), everything was as fast as the blink of an eye, and suddenly the bad news came, it was like a bucket of cold water in the face, it left me breathless, hesitant , and after a few moments I could only exclaim with a desperate cry, that ripped the heart and clouded the reason, was a cry of, “why?”  Another one of “do not tell me that?”  another of, “He was not ready!!!”  Then came the inconsolable cry, the heartrending cry, the struggle between madness and reason gave way to a harsh reality.
He was not there anymore, he had died! Questions came, “how was it?”   “How did it happen?”  The road was long, eternal, the silent beating of a heart, that deep inside it kept the hope that the bad news was not a reality, the inconsolable crying and the desire that everything was only a bad dream, a mistake, and if it was not true, and if, (everything was and “if”) and if on our arrival they would tell us that he did not die, and if a miracle happened, it was a silent asking God, saying,  “Lord you know it all, but can you tell me why?” And it was not that I claimed anything from God, I just wanted to know his motives, his reasons.
The end of the road came, to give way to that harsh reality, it was true!  It had happened (he had died)!  I could not believe it, we got to that Funeral Home which was already full of people, to be taken to he’s  coffin, to see Him there, inert!  Lifeless!   “How could it happen!”   “Why?”  Daddy I was hoping to see you arrive at that moment when old man you could not take care of yourself, and I thought, “how we would do to be able to get you away from your beloved City (Ojinaga),   “How we were going to entertain you (with all our love) and see you grumble , and laugh with you, kiss you and take care of you in your older age.

Unfortunately that moment did not arrive, you left too early and so suddenly that your absence is still difficult to assimilate, my old man!  How much I loved you and forever will do, I only ask God to see you when I come before Him! That is my hope and I cling to it,  “Daddy I always needed you and I’ll always do.” Forever I will love you! You did not have time to say goodbye, everything was so fast, so fleeting. You left me your memory, your love and today I say “THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING DADDY “ rest in peace!
My old man, my dreamer, you taught me that years are worn on the skin, but youth in the heart!  “Thank you my Dear Old Man, thank you!”

You will never die because your memory and your love live in my heart

IMG_0139Rosy Rentería Vazquez

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The Roller Coaster “El Paseo De La Vida”

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Feeling sentimental? Yes, that is my status in this last week, remembering my father who is no longer with me, it has been very difficult to bear his absence, when you think that your heart is healing then comes the nostalgia and sadness wrapping you up abruptly, compressing you, suffocating you, then you realize that life is so short, that your days are so short, we never live enough, we do not enjoy enough, we do not love enough, time moves so fast, life takes you like a roller coaster, you go living with an intense speed, sometimes you go up, sometimes downhill, sometimes you find a curve and you have to cross it at that speed that the roller coaster takes you, then when the roller coaster stops you feel like it stops in its tracks, and you experience a mixture of sensations like peace because that trip have ended, you get off quickly maybe, or you stay in your seat for a few more seconds trying to recover from fear or maybe from the excitement that the ride on the roller coaster has left in you, maybe you laugh with nervousness and with joy, yes, joy because you could reach the end of your trip, maybe you sigh with relief because riding a roller coaster is not easy, maybe you say you do not go back to it anymore, maybe you will do it again and again.

But the difference between a Roller Coaster and The Ride of Life is that you get in the Roller Coaster if you want, but, in The Ride Of Life you have no choice, it takes you without asking, it takes you go up without asking, and it takes you through those ups and downs without giving you the option to decide at what speed you want to travel, sometimes it accelerates and leaves you breathless, other times it will slow down just to allow you to recover a bit,  and  then it will accelerate again and take you where you want to go, nothing is predictable, everything is an expectation, and you will also experience the force of gravity that compresses your body to your seat as if it wanted to melt you in it, and it holds you there without being able to move, narrowing, suffocating you, feeling like your blood is crowding in your head, feeling that you are suffocating and that your heart will not support, some other times you will feel that seat pushes you away, do not worry, in a moment when you least expect it the speed will change, maybe it will be slower, maybe the curve you are about to take will be that change you will need to breathe, to recover and continue the journey waiting for the moment when the Roller Coaster will stop; and then when you arrive, because you will arrive “How will you arrive? It will be the end of the pleasant stroll or you will ask yourself “what were you thinking when you got on that crazy trip,” another may say that he would do it again. Some are just about to ride in, for others the ride have ended.

Question: Is this Roller Coaster about to start or is it ending the ride?

05441523-F175-45BC-A368-421D08C8D9DA     I wonder what my reaction and your reaction will be when you finish that trip on the roller coaster, will you go down and say with joy “Thank God that I got here and I could achieve it”! Or will you regret it and wish you have never taken that ride? maybe others would like to ride on that roller coaster again to make things better, to enjoy the dreaded, crazy, but entertaining ride. Unfortunately El Paseo De La Vida (The Ride Of Life) is taken only once, unlike the ride in the roller coaster, and it depends only on us how we will reach the end, yes, in the end we will arrive, some sooner with more speed, others later, slower, but the end will come, take that ride, with its ups and downs, with its accelerations and decelerations, with its curves and straight lines, we have no other option, but what we can decide is how we want to get to the end, your attitude on The Ride Of Life will determine how you will come to the end.

Some arrive smiling, with their hands up, screaming because they could enjoy the ride despite the cons of it, others arrive dizzy, sick, others arrive with their hands tense from so much squeezing the metal of the handle of the car of the Roller Coaster in where they were traveling, some pale, others with flushed faces, some swear never to get back on, others may say “I’ll do it again”!

Live in such a way that when you come down from The Ride Of Life, you will arrive with encouragement, with a positive attitude, with a look of faith, and say “Thank you Life, thank you God!”

Question: Is this Roller Coaster about to start or is it ending the ride?

Yes, I have always said “life is like a ride on Roller Coaster, get ready, fasten your seat belts, get ready, it’s maybe the starting, or probably the end of the ride, whether you want to take it or not, get on The Roller Coaster Of Life

Rosy Renteria Vazquez.

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Daddy saved me from bullying once…

2E3B6FA0-164B-4FCB-B5DF-D8CA81FB44E3    Daddy saved me from bullying once, I was small, not so small, but enough not to know what to do in cases of bullying, in those times there were no rules or laws that promoted anti-bullying, we did not even call it that. We did not even think about that, but the reality is that many of us were marked for life because of bullying, whether you were one of the assaulted or one of the aggressors.

I remember that in the neighborhood lived a boy the same age of mine, his name or nickname was Chuy, that boy while I played around the neighborhood, or just walked, he used to call me monkey, he laughed and mocked me. Oh I remember how much it hurted and bothered me! Sometimes I would walk  fast to get away from him and his friends, other times when I walked with my friends and he would come out and start calling me that horrible nickname, I felt embarrassed in front of my friends, and the truth is that when you are girl you usually dream of castles and a charming prince, and dream that you are beautiful and important, then you start looking at yourself in the mirror,  looking at your physical qualities, good and bad, being so thin, having a profile that you do not like, and you want be of whiter skin, and the list can go on and on; how come  were not going to hurt me the words of that evil child; the truth is that inside my mind was the struggle to keep going and at the same time to deal with bullying, while I was still my childhood, studying, playing, dreaming, but sometimes horrified waiting for the moment when I would cross that child or he would cross my path, the truth is he was very unattractive, let’s say he was ugly too, then why did he treat me that way? My mind did not understand, I only knew of that horrible feeling of being treated like that, only I knew how much horror and sadness it caused in my heart, I tried not to talk about it with my friends, nor did I comment with them about what much that bothered me and that I was horrified with those episodes, I tried to be strong and pretend that it did not affect me; the truth was that my self-esteem was annihilated and nobody knew it, until one day Daddy told me to go buy something at the store, and I started crying desperately, then he asked what was the reason why I did not want to go (I think he knew something was not right in my life), and that is because Daddy was very intelligent, and had a lot of life experience because of the childhood that He lived, thank God Daddy was like that!   Then I told him about that child and what he called me, and how much he bothered me, he said “go to the store, I’m going to walk some distance away from you, everything will be fine”, I started walking and suddenly Chuy came out, calling me that horrible nickname, then Daddy came out to meet me and told me to go to the store, he stayed talking to that evil child, Daddy never told me what he talked to him (Daddy was a man of noble heart and knew how to face situations without hurting people, but at the same time was a protector of the people he loved), from that moment that child never bothered me again verbally, although his mocking gaze followed me where I was going, Chuy did never call me that ugly nickname, at least that was a relief.

The difficult thing was to get rid of the psychological damage, for many years (I never talked about it again, for decades, although in my mind I kept remembering those episodes of bullying, it was not until I was 50 years old that I could talk about this with someone, the first I talked to, was my daughter Yvette, later I did talk about it in a group dynamic in the Church, and it was because I felt embarrassed to talk about it, it was a shame that they knew someone would call me with that nickname, as long as you keep the damage in your heart and in your mind, you will not free yourself from it, it will continue there silently stalking, it is not until you decide to tell someone that you will start to become free of bullying, no matter how embarrassed or uncomfortable you think it is, talk to someone about it, seek for help, no matter how small you are,  or if you are a teenager, young or adult, you need to look for help. Now I think that if Daddy had not asked me that time about what was going on, maybe I would never have said it, because at that time I did not know bullying, and people were not informed about that.

Bullying  will happen in many adult stages of your life too, but with confidence in yourself and knowing how to deal with it, you can continue your life ahead without hurting you. Daddy is no longer with me, he went to a better place with God, but I thank him and from here I say “Daddy thanks for the help you gave to me to get free from bullying”.

Until heaven is gone my sigh and once again, Daddy thank you, I love you!
Rosy Rentería

http://www.dosomething.org bullying

#no-bullying #beaware

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